ACTION PLAN
Dream are a dime a
dozen…………it’s
Their execution that
counts
-Theodore Roosevelt.
HOW TO BUILD A
POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude towards it,
for that determines our success or failure.
- Norman Vincent Peale
DURING childhood, we form attitudes that last a
lifetime. Undoubtedly, it would be easier to acquire a positive attitude during
our formative years. If the combination of your inborn temperament and your
early childhood experiences have produced a positive attitude, you are indeed
very fortunate. (how to develop positive attitude)
But,
if you have acquired a negative attitude, whether by design or by default- are
you stuck with it? Of course not. Can you change? Yes. Is it easy? Absolutely
not! Is it worth it? You bet! How do you build and maintain a positive attitude?
• Become aware of the principles that build a
positive attitude.
• Desire to be positive.
• Cultivate the discipline and dedication to
practice those principles.
As adults, regardless of our environment,
education and experience, who is responsible for our attitude? We are. We have
to accept responsibility for our behavior and actions. Some people blame
everyone and everything but themselves. It is up to us to choose our attitude
every morning. (positive attitude in life)
People with negative attitudes often blame the
whole world- their parents, teachers, spouse, bosses, the stars, fate, luck,
the economy and the government – for their failures. (positive attitude at
work)
You have to get away from the past. Dust yourself off and get back into the mainstream. Put your dreams together and move forward. Thinking of positive things that are true, honest and good, will put you in a positive state of mind. (how to maintain a positive attitude in stressful times)
8 STEPS TO ATTITUDE CHANGE
If you want to build and maintain a positive attitude, you need to
consciously practice the following steps: (benefits of positive attitude)
Step 1: Change Focus, Look for the Positive.
You need to become a seeker of good. You need to focus on the
positive in your life. Start looking for what is right in a person or situation
instead of looking for what is wrong. Because of our conditioning, most of us
are so attuned to finding fault and looking for what is wrong that we often
forget to see the positive picture. (How can I develop a positive attitude?)
LOOK FOR THE GOLD
Andrew Carnegie came to America from Scotland as a young boy. He
started out by doing odd jobs and ended up as one of the largest steel
manufacturers in the United States. At one time, he had 43 millionaires working
for him. A million dollars is a lot of money today; but in the 1920s it was
worth much more. (What are 8 positive attitudes?)
Someone once asked Mr. Carnegie how he dealt
with people. Andrew replied, ″Dealing with people is a lot like digging for
gold: When you go digging for an ounce of gold you have to move tons of dirt.
But when you go digging, you don’t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for
the gold.”
Andrew Carnegie’s reply has a very important
message. (how to change your attitude and personality)
Though sometimes it may not be apparent there is something
positive in every person and situation. We have to dig deep to look for the
positive.
What is your focus? Search for the gold. If you are looking for what is wrong with people or with things, you will find many faults. What are we looking for? Gold or dirt? Even in paradise, fault finders will find faults. Most people find what they are looking for. (how can i change my attitude from negative to positive) SOME PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS LOOK FOR NEGATIVE
Negative People will Always Criticize.
Some people criticize no matter what. It does not matter how well
something is done, they will always find fault with it. They have made a career
out of criticizing. They are ″ career critics”. They criticize as if they will
win a prize at a contest. (8 ways to improve your attitude)
They will find fault with every person and every situation. You
will find people like this in every family and office. They go around finding
fault and telling everybody how bad things are and blaming the whole world for
their problems. These people are energy suckers. They will go to the cafeteria
and drown themselves in 20 cups of tea and coffee and smoke to their hearts’
content with one excuse- they are trying to relax. (how to change your
attitude in a relationship)
All that they are doing is causing more tension for
themselves and for others around them. They spread negative messages like a
plague and create an environment conducive to negative results. (attitude
change examples)
Robert Fulton invented the steamboat. He
displayed his new invention on the banks of the Hudson River. Among the crowd
who had gathered around to observe the steam boat were some pessimists and
sceptics. They commented that it would never start.(how to change my
attitude towards life)
But lo and behold, it did. As it made its way down the
river, the pessimists who said it would never start, saw it start, and
immediately shouted now it would never stop. What an attitude! There was a
hunter who bought an amazing bird dog. This one-of-a-kind dog could walk on
water. The hunter was looking forward to showing off his new acquisition to his
friends. He invited a friend to go duck hunting. After some time, they shot a
few ducks and the birds. All day long, whenever there were birds to be fetched,
the dog ran on water to retrieve the birds. (What are the 8 steps to
change your attitude?)
The owner was expecting his friend to comment or compliment him
about this amazing dog, but never got one. As they were returning home, he
asked his friend, ″ Yes, in fact, I did notice something unusual. Your dog
can’t swim.” (How can I change my attitude quickly?)
Some people always look at the negative side.
Who is a pessimist? Pessimists:
- Are
unhappy when they have no troubles to speak of
- Feel bad when they feel good,
for fear they will feel worse when they feel better
- Spend most of their life at
complaint counters
- Always turn out the lights to
see how dark it is
- Are always looking for cracks
in the mirror of life
- Stop sleeping in bed when they
hear that more people die in bed than anywhere else
- Cannot enjoy their health
because they think they may be sick tomorrow
- Not only expect the worst but
make the worst of whatever happens
- Don’t see the doughnut, only
the hole
- Believe that the sun shines
only to cast shadows
- Forget their blessings and
count their troubles
- Know that hard work never hurts anyone but believe ″
why take a chance?”
Caution: Looking for the
positive does not necessarily mean overlooking faults. (Is it possible to
change your attitude?)
Be an Optimist
How can one be an optimist? It is well described by the following:
Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk
health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your
friends feel that you appreciate their good qualities and strengths. Look at
the sunny side of everything. (What does it mean to have an attitude of
gratitude?)
Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect
only the best. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about
your own. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements
of the future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself
that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too
noble for anger.”
STEP 2: MAKE A HABIT OF DOING IT NOW
He slept beneath the moon
He
basked beneath the sun
He
lived a life of going to do
and
died with nothing done.
–
James Allery
We have all procrastinated at some time in our lives. I know I
have, only to have regretted it later. Procrastination leads to a negative
attitude. The habit of procrastination fatigues you more than the effort it
takes to do it.
A completed task is fulfilling and energizing;
an incomplete task drains energy. (How can you display an attitude of
gratitude?)
If you want to build and maintain a positive
attitude, get into the habit of living in the present and doing it now. (attitude
of gratitude speech)
When I Become a Big Boy
his is like the little
boy who says when he becomes a big boy, he will do this and that and will be
happy. And when he becomes a big boy he says that when he finishes college he
will be happy. And when he finishes college he says that when he gets his first
job he will be happy. And when he gets his first job he says that when he gets
married, then he will be happy.
And when he gets married
he says when the kids get out of school he will be happy. And when the kids get
out of school, he says that when he retires, he will be happy. And when he
retires, what does he see? He sees life has just gone by in front of his eyes. (why
is an attitude of gratitude important)
Some people practice procrastination by hiding
behind high-sounding words, saying “I am analyzing” and six months later they
are still analyzing. What they don’t realize is that they are still suffering
from a disease called: Paralysis by Analysis and they will never succeed. (attitude
of gratitude devotional)
Then there is another breed of people who
procrastinate by saying “I’m getting ready.” A month later they are still
getting ready and six months later they are still getting ready. What they
don’t realize is they are suffering from a disease called “Ecosites.” They keep
making excuses.
Live in the present
Fe is not a dress rehearsal. I don’t care
what philosophy you believe in- we have got only one shot at this game called
life. The stakes are too high to waste your life. The stakes are the future
generations. (why is an attitude of gratitude important)
What time is it and where are we? The answer is
now and we are here. Let’s make the best of the present and utilize the present
to the fullest. The message is not that we don’t need to plan for the future.
If we utilize our present to its fullest, we are sowing the seeds for a better
future.
If you want to build a positive attitude, learn
the phrase, “do it now” and stop the habit of procrastination. (develop an
attitude of gratitude meaning)
The saddest words in life are:
- “It
might have been.”
- “I should have.”
- “I could have.”
- “I wish I had.”
- “If only I had given a little extra.”
Never leave till tomorrow, which you can do today.
–Benjamin Franklin
I am sure all winners
wanted to be procrastinators but never got around to it.
When people say, ″I will do it one of these
days,” you can be sure it means none of these days. (develop an attitude of
gratitude say thank you)
Some people keep waiting for all the lights to
turn green before they leave home. That will never happen. They fail even
before they start. That is sad.
Stop procrastinating: Isn’t it time that we put off putting
things off?
Step 3: Develop an
Attitude of Gratitude
Count your blessings, not
your troubles. Take time to smell the roses. It is not uncommon to hear that
someone, because of an accident, became blind or paralyzed, but won a million
dollars in a settlement. How many of us would like to trade places with that
person? (How can we develop an attitude of gratitude?)
Not many. We are so
focused on complaining about things we do not have that we lose sight of the
things we have. There is a lot to be thankful for.
When I say count your blessings, not your troubles,
I didn't mean that you should become complacent. Attitude of gratitude does not
mean complacency. If complacence was the message you got, then I would be
guilty of faulty communication and you of selective listening. (how to start
your day with energy)
To give you an example of
selective listening, Let me share with you a story I heard about a medical
doctor who was invited as a guest speaker to address a group of
alcoholics.
He wanted to make a
demonstration that would be powerful enough to make people realize that alcohol
was injurious to their health. He had two containers, one with pure distilled
water and one with pure alcohol. He put an earthworm into the alcohol and it
disintegrated in front of everyone’s eyes. He wanted to prove that this was
what alcohol did to the insides of our body.
He asked the group what
the moral of the story was and one person from behind said, ″If you drink
alcohol you won’t have worms in your stomach.” Was that the message? One course
not. That was selective listening– we hear what we want to hear and not what is
being said.
Many of our blessings are hidden treasures–count
your blessings and not your troubles. (how to start your day in a good mood)
Step 4: Get into a Continuous Education Program
Let’s get some myths out of the way. It is a
general belief that we get educated in schools and colleges. During my seminars
in many different countries there is a question I often ask my audience, ″Do we
really get educated in schools and colleges.? ″Generally, there is a consensus
that some people do but most don’t get me wrong. We receive a lot of
information to be educated. But we also need to know the true meaning of
education.
Intellectual education influences the head and
values based education influences the heart. In fact, education that does not
train the heart can be dangerous. If we want to build character in our offices,
homes and society, we must achieve a minimum level of moral and ethical
literacy. Education that builds fundamental traits of character– such as
honesty, compassion, courage, persistence and responsibility– is absolutely
essential. (attitude of gratitude for students)
We don’t need more academic education, we need
educated people who will be a lot better equipped to move up in life or succeed
than a morally bankrupt person, with excellent academic qualifications.
Education without Values
Universities are turning out highly skilled
barbarians because we don’t provide a framework of values to young people, who
are searching for it.
–Steven Muller, President, Johns Hopkins
University
True education is training of both the head and the
heart. An uneducated thief may steal from the freight car but an educated one
may steal the entire railroad. We need to compete for knowledge and wisdom and
not for grades. Knowledge is piling up facts, wisdom is simplifying it. One
could have good grades and a degree and still not learn much. The most
important thing one can learn is to ″Learn to learn.” People confuse education with the ability to
memories facts. Educating the mind without morals creates a maniac in society. (how
to start your day in a good mood)
Knowledge is Not Power
We often are told that knowledge is power. Not really. Knowledge
is information. It is potential power and it becomes power only when it is
acted upon. (why is an attitude of gratitude important)
What is the difference between a person who
cannot read and a person who can, but does not read? As Ben Franklin said, ″Not
a whole lot.”
Learning is a lot like eating. It is not how
much you eat that matters, what matters is how much you digest. (develop
an attitude of gratitude say thank you)
Knowledge is potential power; wisdom is real
power.
Education takes many forms; it is not just
grades and a degree. It is:
- Cultivating
your strength
- Learning self-discipline
- Listening
- Eagerness to learn
Our minds are like muscles, stretch or shrink, it all depends on
how much or how little we exercise them.
If you think education is expensive, try
ignorance.
–Derek Bok
EDUCATION DOES NOT MEAN GOOD JUDGEMENT
There is a story about a man who sold hotdogs by the roadside. He
was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he
never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched
television. (attitude of gratitude for students)
But
enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs. His sales and profit went up. He
ordered more meat and got himself a bigger and a better stove. As his business
was growing. Joined his father.
Then something strange happened. The son asked, ″Dad,
aren’t you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?” the father
replied, ″No, but tell me about it.” The son said, ″The international situation
is terrible. (develop an attitude of gratitude meaning)
The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared
for the coming bad times.” The man thought that since his son had been to
college, read the papers and listened to the radio, he ought to know and his
advice should not be taken lightly.
So the next day, the sign
was no longer as enthusiastic. Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to
stop at his hotdog stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly. (attitude
of gratitude examples)
The father said to his
son, ″Son, you were right. We are in the middle of a recession. I am glad you
warned me ahead of time.”
What morals can we take away from this story?
1 Our expectations can create a self-fulfilling
prophecy.
2 Many times we confuse intelligence with good
judgement.
3 A person may have high intelligence but poor
judgement.
4 Choose your advisers carefully but use your own
judgement.
5 A person can, and will be, successful with or
without formal education if they have the 5 Cs:
·
Character
·
Commitment
·
Conviction
·
Courtesy
·
Courage
6 The tragedy is that there are many walking encyclopedias
who are failures.
Intelligence is quickness to learn. Skill is an
ability.
Competence is the ability
along with the willingness and desire to apply what is learned. Desire is the
attitude that makes a skillful person competent. Many skillful people are
incompetent. Ability without the right attitude is wasted.
The first duty of a university is to teach wisdom, not trade;
character, not technicalities.
–Winston Churchill
What Does it Mean to Be Educated
Whom, then, do I call educated?
First, those who manage well the circumstances which they
encounter day by day; and those who can judge a suitable course of action.
Next, those who are honorable in their dealings
with all men, bearing easily what is unpleasant or offensive in others, and
being as reasonable with their associates as is humanly possible. (building
positive attitude psychology)
Furthermore, those who hold their pleasures
always under control and are not unduly overcome by their misfortunes, bear up
under them bravely and in a manner worthy of our common nature.
Most important of all, those who are not spoiled
by their successes, who do not desert true selves, but hold their ground
steadfastly as wise and sober-minded
men, rejoicing no more in the good things that have come to them through chance
than in those which through their own nature and intelligence are theirs
since birth. (how to change my attitude towards life)
Those who have a character which is in accord,
not with one of these things, but with all of them, those are
educated–possessed of all the virtues.
–Socrates(470-399B.C)
In a nutshell, educated
persons are those who choose wisely and courageously under any circumstances.
If they choose between wisdom over foolishness, good over bad, virtue over
vulgarity, regardless of the academic degrees they have, then they are
educated. (attitude of gratitude for students)
What is Broad-Based Education?
Some animals
in a forest decided to start a school. The students included a bird, a
squirrel, a fish, a dog, a rabbit and a mentally retarded ell. A board was
formed to determine the curriculum and it was decided that flying, tree
climbing, swimming, and burrowing would give a broad-based education. All
animals were required to take all subjects.
The bird was excellent at flying and was getting
A’s but when it came to burrowing, it kept breaking its beak and wings and
started failing. Pretty soon, it started making C’s in flying and, of course,
in tree climbing and swimming it was getting F’s . The squirrel was great at
tree climbing, but was failing in swimming. The fish was the best swimmer but
couldn't get out of the water and thus got F’s in everything else. (develop
an attitude of gratitude)
The dog didn’t join the school, stopped paying taxes, and
kept fighting with the administration to include barking as part of the
curriculum. The rabbit got A’s in burrowing but tree climbing was a real
problem. It kept falling and landing on its head, suffered brain damage, and
soon couldn’t even burrow properly and got C’’s in that too. (how to
shutdown a negative person)
The mentally retarded eel, who did everything
half as well, became the valedictorian of the class. The board was happy
because everybody was getting a broad-based education. (How can you display
an attitude of gratitude?)
A true broad-based education prepares students
for life, without losing their areas of specialization and competence.
We
are All Gifted with Some Strengths
The small size of the
hummingbird, weighing only a tenth of an ounce, gives it the flexibility to
perform complicated maneuver's, such as beating its wings 75 times a second.
This enables the hummingbird to drink nectar from flowers while hovering, but
it cannot soar, glide or hop. The ostrich, at 300 pounds, is the largest bird,
but it can’t fly. However, its legs are so strong that it can run at up to 50
miles per hour, taking strides of 12-15 feet. (how can i change my attitude from negative to positive)
Ignorance
Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn
to do things the right way.
–Benjamin Franklin
The illusion of knowledge is not education, but
ignorance. Foolish people have a strange kind of confidence which comes only
with ignorance.
There is nothing wrong with ignorance, but
making a career out of it is stupidity. Some people accumulate ignorance and
then confuse it with education. Ignorance is not bliss. (develop an attitude
of gratitude meaning)
It is misery,
tragedy, poverty and sickness. If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people
happy? If a little knowledge is dangerous, so is a lot of ignorance, which
leads to pettiness, fear, dogmatism, egotism and prejudice. Wisdom is nothing
more than dispelling ignorance.
We live in an information age. It is estimated
that the amount of information is doubling every year. With information so readily
available, it is easy to dispel ignorance. It is sad to see that we are taught
everything but the most essential things. We are taught the three Rs (reading,
rating, arithmetic), but what good is intellectual education without
understanding human dignity and compassion? (attitude of gratitude
devotional)
Schools are a fountain of knowledge: some
students come to drink, some to sip and others just to gargle.
Commonsense
We are born with five
senses–-touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing. But successful people have a
sixth sense– Commonsense. Commonsense is the ability to see things as they are
and do them as ought to be done. The application of education and knowledge
without commonsense is meaningless. (common sense education)
Commonsense may not necessarily be a result of
education. The best education without commonsense is worthless. An abundance of
commonsense is called wisdom.
SHARPEN YOUR AXE
John, a woodcutter,
worked for a company for five years but never got a raise. The company hired
Bill and within a year he got a raise. Then John resented Bill getting a raise
after only a year and went to his boss to talk about it.
The boss said, “You are
still cutting the same number of trees you were cutting five years ago. We are
a result oriented company and would be happy to give you a raise if your
productivity goes up.” John went back, started hitting harder and putting in
longer hours but he still wasn’t able to cut more trees. He went back to his
boss and told him his dilemma.
The boss told John to go talk to Bill. “Maybe there is
something Bill knows that you and I don’t “ John asked Bill how he managed to
cut more trees. Bill answered, “After every tree I cut, I take a break for two
minutes and sharpen my axe. When was the last time you sharpened your
axe?
When was the last time you sharpened your axe?
Past glory and education don’t count for much. We have to continuously sharpen
the axe.
Feed You Mind
Just as our bodies need good food every day, our minds
need good thoughts every day. The key words in the preceding sentence are good
food and good thoughts. If we feed our body with junk food and our mind with
bad thoughts, we will have both a sick body and a sick mind. We need to feed
our mind with the pure and the positive to stay on track. (how to build
self-esteem)
Education is a Reservoir
Continuous positive
education leads to positive thinking.
Positive thinkers are like athletes who, through
practice, build an inner reservoir of stamina that they draw on during
competition. If they don’t practice, they have nothing to draw on. (what is
self-esteem)
Similarly, positive thinkers regularly build a
reserve of pure, the powerful and the positive on a daily basis. They realize
that we are all going to be faced with the negative and if we have the reserve
of positive attitudes we will be able to overcome it; otherwise the negative
will prevail.
Positive thinkers are not fools and they are not
going through life with blinders. They are winners who recognize their
limitations, but focus on their strengths. Losers, on the other hand, recognize
their strengths but focus on their weaknesses. (how to improve your
self-esteem as a woman)
Step 5: Build a Positive Self-Esteem
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-Esteem is the way we
feel about ourselves. When we feel good within, our performance goes up and our
relationships improve both at home and at work. The world looks nicer. What
could be the reason? Because there is a direct correlation between our feelings
and behavior.
How Do We Build Positive Self-Esteem?
If you want to build a
positive self-esteem quickly, one of the fastest ways is to do something for those
who cannot repay you in cash or kind.
A few years ago I started volunteering my time
to teach attitude and self-esteem programs to jail inmates. In just a few
weeks, I learnt more than I had learnt in years.(how to build self-esteem in
adults)
After attending my program for two weeks, one of
the inmates stopped me and said,” Shiv, I’m going to be released from the
prison in a couple of weeks.” (what causes low self-esteem)
I asked him what he had
learned through the attitude development program. He thought for a while and
then said that he felt good about himself. I said, “Good doesn’t tell me
anything . Tell me specifically what behavior has changed?” ( I believe that
learning has not taken place unless behavior changes.) (how to change your
attitude and personality)
He told me that since starting the program, he
reads the Bible everyday. I then asked him what reading the Bible did to him.
He replied that he now felt before. I said to him,`` That is nice, but the
bottom line is , what are you going to do when you leave jail?” (What are
examples of negative influences?)
He told me he was
going to try to be a contributing member of society. I asked him the same
question again and he gave me the same answer. Then I asked him ″What are you
going to do when you leave hail?” Obviously, I was looking for a different
answer. (What does negative influence mean?)
At this point, in
an angry tone, he said, ″I am going to be a contributing member of society.” I
pointed out to him that there was a world of difference in what he said earlier
and what he said now. First he had said, ″I am going to try to be” and now he
said ″I am going to be .” The difference is the word ″try”. Either we do
something or we don’t. The word ″try” keeps the door open for him to come
back to jail. (what is self-esteem)
Another inmate, who was listening in on our
conversation, asked, ″Shiv, what do you get paid to do all this?” I told him,
the feeling that I just experienced was worth more than what I could get paid
in monetary terms. He then asked, ″Why did you come here?” I said, ″I come here
for my own selfish reasons, I want to make this world a better place to
live.”
This kind of selfishness
is healthy. In a nutshell, what you put into the system, you always get back,
and most times it is more than you can ever put in. (But you don’t put it in
with the desire to get something back.)
Another inmate said, ″What anybody does is their
own business. When people take drugs, it is none of your business. (how to
overcome low self-esteem)
Why don’t you leave them alone?” I replied,” My
friend, even though I disapprove, I will compromise and accept what you are
saying– that it is none of my business. Can you guarantee that when someone
takes drugs, and gets behind the wheel of a car and has an accident, the only
thing they will ever hit is a tree? I will compromise. (what causes low
self-esteem)
But if you cannot
guarantee this, you or I or our kids could be dead, you better believe it is my
business. I have to get this person off the roads.
This one phrase, ″It is my life, I will do what
I want, ″has done more damage than good. People choose to ignore the spirit and
derive the meaning that is convenient to them. Such people have tied this
phrase to selfishness and this has had a negative effect on them and the world
around them.
These people forget that we don’t live in
isolation. What you do affects me and what I do affects you. We are connected.
We have to realize that we are sharing this planet and we must learn to behave
responsibly.
There are two kinds of people in this world –
givers have high self-esteem, a positive attitude, and they serve society. By
serving society, I do not mean a run -of-the mill pseudo leader-
turned-politician who serves himself by pretending to serve others. (Why
do we want to avoid negative influences?)
As human beings, we all have the need to receive
and take. But a healthy personality with high self-esteem is one that not only
has its need to take but also to give. (What are the 3 keys to positive
self-esteem?)
A man was washing his new car when his neighbor
asked him, ″When did you get the car?” He replied ″ My brother gave it to me.”
The neighbor said, “ I wish I had a car like that.” The man replied, “ You
should wish to have a brother like that.” The neighbors' wife was listening to
the conversation and she interrupted, “I was a brother like that.” What a
positive way to think!
Step 6: Stay Away from Negative Influences
Impressionable minds get
influenced by adult behavior and the media. Peer pressure affects not only
children and teenagers, it is also prevalent in adults. It shows a lack of
self-esteem when people do not have the courage to say “No, thank you,” and
stay away from negative influences. What are the negative influences? (Why
do we want to avoid negative influences?)
Negative
People
An eagle’s egg was placed
in the nest of a prairie chicken. The egg hatched and the little eagle grew up
thinking it was a prairie chicken. The eagle did what the prairie chickens did.
It scratched in the dirt fir seeds. It clucked and cackled. It never flew more
than a few feet because that is what the prairie chickens did. One day he saw
an eagle flying gracefully and majestically in the open sky. (What are
examples of negative influences?)
He asked the prairie
chickens: “What is that beautiful bird?” The chickens replied, “That is an
eagle. He is an outstanding bird, but you cannot fly like him because you are
just a prairie chicken.” So the eagle never gave it a second thought, believing
that to be the truth.
He lived the life
of and died a prairie chicken, depriving himself of his heritage because of his
lack of vision. What a waste! He was born to win, but conditioned to lose. (examples
of negative influences in life)
The same thing is true for most people. The
unfortunate part of life is as Oliver Wendall Holmes said, “Most people go to
their graves, with music still in them.” We don’t achieve excellence because of
our own lack of vision.
If you want to soar like an eagle, you have to
learn the ways of an eagle. If you associate with achievers, you will become
one. If you associate with thinkers, you will become one .If you associate with
negative people, you will become one. (how to stay away from friends
who are bad influences)
Whenever people succeed in life, petty people
will take cracks at them and try to pull them down. When you refuse to fight
petty people, you win. In martial arts, they teach that when someone takes a
crack at you, instead of blocking you should step away. (how to avoid
negative relatives)
Why? Blocking requires energy. Why not use it more
productively? Similarly, in order to fight petty people, you have to come down
to their level. That is what they want, because now you are one of them.
Smoking, Drugs and Alcohol
One reason that I don’t drink is that I
want to know when I am having a good time.
–Lady
Astor
Drinking makes a person lose his
inhibitions and give exhibitions.
In my travels, I have noticed that in some
countries drinking has become a national pastime. If you don’t drink, they look
at you as if there is something wrong. Their motto is : “It doesn’t matter how
bad your English is, as long as your Scotch is good.” If a banker asked them
what their liquid assets are, they would bring two bottles of Scotch. (why
is an attitude of gratitude important)
Drinking and smoking are glamorized today. It
all starts with the first time. If you ask people why they consume alcohol or
take drugs, they will give you a host of reasons, such as: to celebrate; to
have fun; to forget problems; to relax; to experiment; to impress others(it is
cool to drink); to be fashionable; to mingle; for business purposes. (What
does negative influence mean?)
People want to conform to peer pressure. I am
amazed at the way peer pressure compels us with phrases such as “ Aren't you my
friend?”;“One for the road”; “One for my health.”
The following poem from an unknown author
explains the dilemma of a social drinker well.
I’ve
drunk to your
Health
in taverns,
I’ve
drunk to your
Health
in my home,
I’ve
drunk to your
Health
so damn
Many
times,
That
I’ve almost
Ruined
my own!
Drinking and driving cost lives. Jerry Johnson,
in his book It’s killing Our kids(p.xv), cites American Hospital
Association reports that half of all hospital admissions are alcohol- related.
According to the National Safety Council’s 1989 Accident Facts Edition, a
person is injured in an alcohol-related crash every 60 seconds. (Why is it
important to start your day in a positive way?)
Pornography
Pornography is nothing short of dehumanizing women and children.
The consequences of pornography are that
it
- Dehumanizes
women
- Victimizes children
- Destroys marriages
- Encourages sexual violence
- Makes fun of ethical and moral
values
- Destroys individuals, families, and communities
A woman is raped in the United States every 46
seconds. (National Victim Centre/Crime Victims Research and Treatment Centre,
1992). Eighty-six percent of rapists admit to regular use of pornography, with
57 percent admitting imitation of pornography's scenes when committing sex
crimes ( Dr. William Marshall,1988).* (start your day with a positive
attitude )
It is sad to see how low some people will stoop
to make a buck by making pornography their business.
Negative Movies and Television Programs
Today’s kids are learning their attitudes and
values more from television and movies than from any other source. It is
estimated that in the United States, by the time a youngster gets out of high
school, he has watched more than 20,000 hours of television, witnessed 15,000
murders, and watched 100,000 alcohol-related commercials.**
Television
programming and advertisements convey the message that drinking is fun, smoking
is glamorous, and drugs are the “in” thing. No wonder the crime rate is so
high! (positive readings to start the day)
Soap operas and other television shows as well
as movies glamorize premarital and extramarital sex. No wonder commitments are
lacking in relationships and divorce rates are high. Impressionable viewers set
their standards and benchmarks based on what they see and hear in the media.
And no matter who we are, we are all impressionable to varying degrees.
Profanity
Using profanities show a lack of vocabulary, self-control, and
discipline.
Rock Music
The lyrics of some hit
songs are obscene. The music we hear and the performances we watch can
subconsciously influence us.
Step 7: Learn to Like the Things That Need to be Done
Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and
suddenly you are doing the impossible.
–St.
Francis of Assisi
Some things need to be
done whether we like them or not; for example, mothers caring for their young.
This may not always be fun, and may even be painful. But if we learn to like
the task, the impossible becomes possible.
8: Start Your Day With Something Positive
Read or listen to
something positive first thing in the morning. After a good night’s sleep we
are relaxed and our subconscious is receptive. It sets the tone for the day,
and puts us in the right frame of mind to make positive thoughts and behavior
part of our lives. Practice having positive thoughts and behavior daily until
they become a habit. (start your day with a positive mindset)
William Hames of Harvard University said, “If
you are going to change your life, you need to start immediately.”
If you follow the 8 steps above, you will be a
winner:
WINNERS VERSUS LOSERS
- The
Winner is always part of the answer;
- The Loser is always part of the
problem.
- The Winner always has p
program;
- The Loser always has an excuse.
- The Winner says, “Let me do it
for you”.
- The Loser says, “That is not my
job.”
- The Winner sees an answer for
every problem;
- The Loser sees a problem for
every answer.
- The Winner says, “It may be
difficult but it is possible.”
- The Loser says, “It may be
possible but it is too difficult.”
- When a winner makes a mistake,
he says, “I was wrong.”
- When a Loser makes a mistake,
he says, “It wasn’t my fault.”
- A Winner makes commitments;
- A Loser makes promises.
- Winner have dreams;
- Losers have schemes.
- Winners say, “I must do
something.”
- Losers say, “Something must be
done.”
- Winners are a part of the team;
- Losers art apart from the
team.
- Winners see the gain;
- Losers see the pain.
- Winners see
possibilities;
- Losers see problems.
- Winners believe in win/win;
- Losers believe for them to win
someone has to lose.
- Winners see the potential;
- Losers see the past.
- Winners are like a thermostat;
- Losers are like thermometers.
- Winners choose what they say;
- Losers say what they choose.
- Winners use hard arguments but
soft words;
- Losers use soft arguments but
hard words.
- Winners stand firm on values
but compromise on petty things;
- Losers stand firm on petty
things but compromise on values.
- Winners follow the philosophy
of empathy; “Don’t do to others what you would not want them to do to
you;”
- Losers follow the philosophy,
“Do it to others before they do it to you.”
- Winners make it happen;
- Losers let it happen.
- Winners plan and prepare to win. The key word is
preparation. (
Action Steps
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you will be doomed if you
don’t try.
–Beverley Sills
Let me close this chapter with the eight actions steps discussed
earlier:
·
Look for the positive.
·
Make a habit of doing it
now.
·
Develop an attitude of
gratitude.
·
Create a continuous
education program for yourself.
·
Build positive
self-esteem.
·
Stay away from negative
influences.
·
Learn to like the things
that need to be done.
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