HOW YOUR FAMILY CAN HELP
YOU ENJOY WORK
The president of a large steel corporation confided to me once, “Work has always been challenging and enjoyable to me. I have spent fourteen to sixteen hours a day at it as long as I can remember. But lately, it has been rough. (How can we enjoy with family members?)
My wife claims I am wedded to mm work instead of to her. She’s been insisting on a divorce, and the thought of breaking up our marriage has been sapping all the fun from my work. Actually, now I’m frustrated and find it impossible to do my work as well as I used to.”
 |
| FAMILY CAN HELP YOU ENJOY WORK |
Work, as we have said earlier, is a wonder drug in its own right. You can derive so much personal satisfaction from it however, that it will boomerang. This is especially true if you have a wife and family. For example, the divorce rate is highest among physicians, surgeons, and other professional self-employed persons who normally see very little of their wives and families.
Weight the price you must pay. The owner of a flourishing nursery wanted to retire. His business was such that he grossed fifteen hundred rupees a day during the most favorable months of the year. He had worked hard and long all of his life to build his business up. Now he approached his son-in-law, a successful engineer, in the hope that he would take over the nursery business upon his retirement. (What can family help you with?)
The son-in-law was most interested. The income from the nursery was several times his income from his regular job. But in the end he turned the whole idea down on the strength of his wife’s advice: “Please let Dad sell the business outright to somebody else. All my life the only time I ever spent with Dad was for brief minutes at lunch hours. He was a slave to his nursery. I don’t want our children to be robbed of your companionship, as I was my father’s, no matter how attractive the business is financially.”
DON’T LET WORK COMPETE WITH YOUR
WIFE AND FAMILY
Ways for the work-lover to keep the home fires burning. The man who is intensely in love with his wife and his job is usually the happiest. The chances are, however, that before he began climbing the ladder of success he picked the right girl to stay on the ground and hold it steady for him. Brains, success, and money may provide you with the fuels of life, but having the kind of wife to provide you with the spark is frequently all-essential. Here are the rules that I follow to keep the home fires burning: (How do you help of your family with your work?)
Never say or act as though your work rated more attention than your wife and family. Some men I know make it understood that they and their work are so important they must come first!
Set up a strict routine regarding your work hours. The best gift a man can give his wife and children is a few minutes of his time each day. One hour, devoted without inhibition to your wife and family each work day, is a must. Any man who is too busy to do this is inviting tensions that will in turn put the skids under his work-enjoyment.
My work requires me to spend a great deal of time in my study after regular working hours. Nut here is the family schedule I adhere to as closely as possible during weekdays:
6:00–7:00. Supper. We always have soft FM dinner music playing.
7:00–7:30. Listen to children practice piano, and some family singing. We let the supper dishes sit.
7:30–8:00. Help get the supper dishes cleaned up and out of the way. While my wife and I do this, our children are doing schoolwork.
8:00–8:30. The children take baths and I take a shower.
8:30–10:30. Night prayers with the children, after which I withdraw to my study.
10:30–11:00. I join my better half in the living room for the news before we go off to bed. (How do you enjoy your work?)
Wednesday night is Mom’s night out at our house for bridge or shopping. You will read more about this below. In addition, getting off to bed at 8:30 on Wednesday nights fits in with my rigid adherence to the sleep-break ritual described in Chapter 8. How to Fight Fatigue.
How to avoid being a housewife. My therapy for housewife Otis was formulated when I was forced to stay home from the office once because my wife had to remain in bed. By the time I dragged myself back to my office desk, two days later, my job never looked better or easier to take!
The question on my mind was no longer why housewives complain so much of exhaustion, but rather how in the world they ever manage to survive the beating that the house and the children give them. I was alarmed to think that what happened down the street to Fred’s wife could happen to my wife, too. Fred’s wife went berserk. The frequency of nervous breakdowns and related emotional symptoms among young mothers suddenly became all too evident to me. I did some quick thinking. It was as a result of this serious thinking that , in our house. Mom gets Wednesday nights out to mend frayed nerves and put the color back into her cheeks. (how to build a good relationship between family members)
The routine usually goes something like this: Promptly after a drawn-out second cup of coffee. Mrs. Battista gets up from the dinner table, puts on her hat and coat, plants a touch-and-go kiss on my forehead, gives the children their goodnight hugs, picks up her pocketbook, and walks out with her head in the clouds.
It’s just as simple as that; no questions asked, and the weather be darned!
Then Pop dons his fatigue clothes and goes to work at the dishes with the children usually pulling at the strings of an under-sized apron.
With the kitchen chores out of the way, I go into my act as court jester to children. Homework follows, then baths, story-time, and, at long last, sleep. What a satisfying sight to see them in bed. Then it is that I doff my can in humble tribute to motherhood. What a job these girls do six, more usually even, days a week!
TO ENJOY WORK YOUR WIFE MUST WANT YOU TO
Every harmonious human relationship requires a definite rule of co-operation if it is to last. Most failures in life, much of the marital unhappiness, and many of the disappointments can be traced to a disregard, or a premeditated violation, of the necessary rule of cooperation. Among modern young couples, housewife its are nothing but an outward sign that one of the partners has become worn thin by the thought that he or she is carrying most of the load.
Housewife its is, in effect, a symptom of the “trapped” feeling a mother gets from being uninterruptedly too close to the kitchen, the laundry, and the energetic young ones. It is a sign that a marriage is due for a thorough overhauling. Unless housewife it is is checked in time by repeated fresh leases of freedom, it can become the proverbial straw that breaks a mother’s back. The ability of a breadwinner to get enjoyment out of his work without a healthy, happy spouse to back him up is slim, if not nearly impossible. (how can family relationships best be improved)
I believe that the sooner a husband realizes that marriage problems below the check-writing level are as much his concern as his wife's, the better he will be able to maintain his half of the co-operative agreement. A husband who makes a special effort to share his wife’s most monotonous chores is buying with his time the best insurance for many years of future marital happiness.
No husband worth his salt can challenge the conclusion that the most stimulating person in any man’s life is a wife who is truly in love with him. By the same token, no force contributes more powerfully to a positive work-attitude.
Understanding can spell success. Family understanding of why Dad must spend long hours away from them–either in travelling or closeted in his study–is behind almost every successful professional or business leader. Family misunderstanding of the critical need for occasional periods of sustained effort frequently results in thwarting golden opportunities.
Show me the man who whistles at his work, and I will point to a married man whose wife and family deserve much of the credit. It is no more possible for a man to divorce his enjoyment of work from the cooperation and interest that his family give him, than it is to divorce a couple who are madly in love with each other.
The Family-Night-Out plan. In addition to reserving Wednesday night for Mom to do as she pleases, we add variety to your family calendar and make work look more attractive by our Family-Night-Out plan. We choose a definite evening each month on which to eat out, and set the day as far ahead as possible, so we can get the most enjoyment out of the expectation. We have geared our budget accordingly. By trying to select a different eating place each time, we are fast becoming experts on local eating places. Here we have a further reason why the healthy family life we now enjoy sparkles with the exhilaration of happy, laughing children, and soft, kindly words. How wish, indeed, are the words of Dr. Samuel Johnson, who said, “To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition.” (why is family important to society)
Father’s rewards for banishing housewives. Family support, wholehearted backing by your wife and children of what you are trying to achieve in this life through work, is vital to your enjoyment and happiness. Here is a list of the rewards I can reedit to the determined efforts of my own family to banish housewives. They all add up to making work more enjoyable in one way or another:
We all have the genuine feeling that our family is an exciting enterprise in which the dullest chores of living are mutually shared.
Now, when I quietly retire from my studies to work, I go with the family’s blessing, and they know they’ve not been neglected. They know my work requires time and an atmosphere of uninterrupted solitude.
An atmosphere of mutual consideration and selfless interest prevails: I never wipe my dirty hands on a towel, scatter my clothes on the floor or track mud into the house, because I know how much extra work such lack of consideration will mean. After reading newspapers or magazines I always place them neatly aside when I’m through instead of scattering them here and there.
My wife, on the other hand, checks my shirts, pajamas, and suit coats for lost or near-lost buttons, or necessary repairs before I have to ask her. This is so much more satisfying than having to point out such trivia repeatedly before getting any action. In the morning it is a special thrill and handkerchief lined upon my bureau when I get up because my wife wants to do these little daily chores for me. (What is the impact of strong family support?)
My wife dresses attractively because she earnestly wants to be and stay pretty just for me.
The children have shown a refreshing interest in participating in my work. They offer to help out at every opportunity. They weigh and add postage to my mail. My study’s wastebaskets are emptied as if by gremlins. My son has even taken on the chore of keeping my shoes shined to relieve me of a routine burden–without ever being asked to do it.
When I enter the front door after a busy day, I get the heartiest welcome a father could ask for: children to give me a happy hug: a wife who comes running from the farthest spot in the house, sparkling with delight to see me! (What a husband needs from his wife?)
YOUR WIFE’S ROLE IN HELPING YOU TO
ENJOY WORK
A wife’s work is never done. Some of the richest men lying in our cemeteries today, on the other hand, died prematurely because their wives drove them to their graves. As long as their husbands lived, many of these women acted wholly indifferent to their work and worries:
They refused to participate in or assist with their husband’s money-making activities, and yet they insisted in driving their social standing ever higher. They ignored the pleas of their husbands to understand taxes, the terms of their wills, and how they were investing their money: all they looked for were totals that meant security for them.
They failed to see, because they refused to face the inevitable that their husbands were fighting their work instead of enjoying it because they were being driven to reach beyond their work-capacity as well as their ability or training. (what are the five importance of family)
—But capable widows. When the inevitable happens to them, however, and their husbands suddenly pass away or become bed-ridden, broken-down invalids, it is remarkable how the hidden capabilities of such women come out. The tragedy is that so many wives wait to be shocked into using their talents to make their husbands enjoy their work, live longer, and become even more successful. The saddest trend in the world today is the steep climb in the curve that shows the number of wealthy widows! It can only mean that many wives are permitting their husbands to be killed by work, instead of thrilled by it!
How wives can help their husbands enjoy work. It is easy to spot women who don’t believe in failures–by their successful husbands. Such women, however, do not drive their husbands to give them more luxuries, or to prove they are better than other men. They do not belittle their husbands in private or in public. Nor do they commit them to an exhausting schedule of cocktail parties and community gatherings, or burden them by exaggerating trivial physical ailments just to get attention and sympathy. (What are the roles and responsibilities of a wife?)
But they do make life at home a lot fun for their husbands, and make them the focal point of their lives.
They do give their husbands a feeling of importance around the home, for example, by praising them at least once a day, even when they don’t know why they should! They fuss over him-light up his pipe, settle him in a living-room chair, bring him his slippers, and reassure him that the growing bald spot makes no difference. They keep the children’s respect for their father at the highest possible pitch by talking Dad up to them when he isn’t able to do everything he might to fuss over them and nourish their affection.
They do relieve their husbands of as many physical chores as possible–from writing cheques to keeping their shirts, ties, and socks in good supply. They suggest that he go off on a fishing trip with his friends from time to time when he shows signs of wearing down. In other words, they sit in the back seat, without losing their grip on the steering wheel.
Rules for husbands at home. The smart husband not only realizes the importance of keeping his family happy for their sake, but also for his own sake. The man who arrives at work knowing that his wife and the children at home are happy about him and life in general is certainly bound to do better work and get more pleasure from doing it. Logically enough, how content a man’s family is while he is at work is frequently determined by what he does or says when he is at home with them. Here is a list of practical suggestions that could help to make your work consistently more enjoyable both on the job, and while working in your basement shop or puttering around the yard: (importance of family speech)
When you come from work, fuss over your wife and the children right away. Let them know you're glad to see them, too. Notice a new dress, a new hairdo–even a new shade of lipstick your wife may be wearing. The tone of that first half-minute when a working man enters the door after a day’s work can set the pace of family relations throughout dinner and the whole evening.
Make it a practice to occupy the children’s attention for fifteen minutes or so before dinner. Your wife will be busy setting up the table and getting the dinner ready and this will get them out from underfoot. Besides, it will give you a few extra moments with the children that both they and you need badly.
When you know your wife isn’t feeling up to her usual self, go out of your way to express special consideration for her: a gentle hug, a comment about the dessert, a promise to do something with her that she especially likes–a special movie or play, for example.
Don’t get upset if the children seem to recognize your wife as having the “final” say at times, as far as they are concerned. They spend so much more time taking orders from her while you’re at work, it is only natural in their childhood years to turn to mother automatically for a decision on something, even when Pop, the hard-working breadwinner and titular head of the family, is around.
Offer to help with the dinner dishes even when you know you’re dog-tired. If you’ve been keeping family relations on the happy plane they should be, your wife and children will hear nothing of it–and push you into the living room, hand you the evening paper, and light up your pipe.
Don’t make too much money. Give your wife freedom in handling the family finances as long as she doesn’t abuse the privilege to the extent of jeopardizing your solvency. A wife who doesn’t have to keep accounting for how much she spends each day is bound to have greater respect and affection for her husband.
Ask your wife for jobs to do around the house that will show her you’re interested in lightening the load of her work day–any bad electric switches to fix, broken screen doors, leaking faucets, heavy trash to dispose of, and so forth. (list 10 ways in which your family helps you)
Above all, be pleasant with and to your wife and children. Hold back words that hurt, a temper that hurts even more. Treat your wife with the same tenderness and kind devotion you gave her as your bride, as the new mother of your children, as your one and only Dream Girl. You’ll find that the attention you give your wife is like a warm light that she will reflect back to you many times over.
CHAPTER ELEVEN IN CAPSULE FORM
How Your Family Can Help You Enjoy Work
The most stimulating people in a man’s life are his wife and family. Lucky is the man who can stay in love with them and his work.
When it comes to climbing the ladder of success and enjoying it too, you can’t beat an understanding family who keep their feet on the ground and hold the ladder steady for you.
Develop a Family-Night-Out plan. Avoid the common affliction, housewife its, by the preventive approach.
The smart woman knows her husband is her most precious asset–alive. So she takes an intense interest in his work, in helping him to be happy, in caring for all of his needs. She deliberately becomes the “spark” in his life. She does all she can to help her husband enjoy work. (Why is it important to have supportive parents?)
The man who hopes to get far and also to get enjoyment and happiness from his work knows he can’t do it without keeping the home fires burning. How contented a man is when children are back home. He goes by the rules around home in order to keep his family solidly behind his job and his ambitions.
0 Comments
Do not share any link